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Leaving the Comfort-Zone
“Leaving the comfort zone” became an essential motto in my life, since I’ve recognized that this motto can really push me forward. Mainly it means to fight your fears.
There are many situations in which we act like we had no choice, blaming it all on certain circumstances – like I already mentioned in “Candy shop”. And in some situations we know that we have the choice, but for us it’s crystal clear that we “would never ever do that, no matter what… ”. In these kinds of moments I learned to ask myself a simple question: “why?”
When I was younger I used to think that I would never ever ride a rollercoaster let alone do parachuting - BUT in 2004 there was a moment in a theme park when I got over this. I asked myself why I was afraid and had no other answer than “well…. because I AM afraid!”
So I rode the first one and within a day I also rode all other roller coasters of the entire theme park. Adrenaline pushed me forward and the day ended with a ride on the highest and fastest rollercoaster of all– front row, having more fun than ever.
Since that day, roller coasters have never been a problem for me again. In September I finally went parachuting and it has been absolutely awesome as well!
I can only recommend getting over personal fears that have no reasonable cause. And this is not only about these adrenaline-related things:
For example I actually have never been to the opera. I have never thought about the “why”. Maybe I thought that I wouldn’t like it, but how should I really know? I think it always had been the fear of doing something you have no clue about. Anyway – in December I’m going to leave the comfort zone again – and go to the opera for the very first time.
Leaving the comfort zone can mean so many different things – depending on your personal comfort zone: performing a song on a karaoke party, wearing a short skirt or asking your boss about a salary increase (please don’t combine the last two ideas :-) ). Start with small things.
Ever when you find yourself thinking “it’s cool that ‘somebody’ is doing ‘something’, but I would never ever…” – raise the huge “STOP”-sign, and start leaving your comfort zone!
There are many situations in which we act like we had no choice, blaming it all on certain circumstances – like I already mentioned in “Candy shop”. And in some situations we know that we have the choice, but for us it’s crystal clear that we “would never ever do that, no matter what… ”. In these kinds of moments I learned to ask myself a simple question: “why?”
When I was younger I used to think that I would never ever ride a rollercoaster let alone do parachuting - BUT in 2004 there was a moment in a theme park when I got over this. I asked myself why I was afraid and had no other answer than “well…. because I AM afraid!”
So I rode the first one and within a day I also rode all other roller coasters of the entire theme park. Adrenaline pushed me forward and the day ended with a ride on the highest and fastest rollercoaster of all– front row, having more fun than ever.
Since that day, roller coasters have never been a problem for me again. In September I finally went parachuting and it has been absolutely awesome as well!
I can only recommend getting over personal fears that have no reasonable cause. And this is not only about these adrenaline-related things:
For example I actually have never been to the opera. I have never thought about the “why”. Maybe I thought that I wouldn’t like it, but how should I really know? I think it always had been the fear of doing something you have no clue about. Anyway – in December I’m going to leave the comfort zone again – and go to the opera for the very first time.
Leaving the comfort zone can mean so many different things – depending on your personal comfort zone: performing a song on a karaoke party, wearing a short skirt or asking your boss about a salary increase (please don’t combine the last two ideas :-) ). Start with small things.
Ever when you find yourself thinking “it’s cool that ‘somebody’ is doing ‘something’, but I would never ever…” – raise the huge “STOP”-sign, and start leaving your comfort zone!
Candy shop
We all know the Jimmy Cliff Song „You can get it if you really want“.
In the past I used to think like “Well…yeah, sure!”. But there have been things and persons in my life during the last years that made me change my mind.
For example I read a book (unfortunately it’s just available in german) called “Gedankendoping”. It was written by the motivational trainer Eugen Simon. I would never ever visit these kind of courses, spending hundreds or even thousands of Euros on them. But as this book was for free on the internet, I read it. It was all about reaching goals.
In many points I really had to agree with Simon.
There are many barriers in our heads, telling us “I will never make it to …” or “There are so many circumstances, I can not influence, that will ever keep me from …”. But aren’t these limitations just set by ourselves? Isn’t it just the easier way to go to blame it all on circumstances, bad luck and other people?
I started forcing myself to think different and since then my feeling has become a different one too. At this stage I’d like to quote a friend of mine who described the feeling like that:
In the past I used to think like “Well…yeah, sure!”. But there have been things and persons in my life during the last years that made me change my mind.
For example I read a book (unfortunately it’s just available in german) called “Gedankendoping”. It was written by the motivational trainer Eugen Simon. I would never ever visit these kind of courses, spending hundreds or even thousands of Euros on them. But as this book was for free on the internet, I read it. It was all about reaching goals.
In many points I really had to agree with Simon.
There are many barriers in our heads, telling us “I will never make it to …” or “There are so many circumstances, I can not influence, that will ever keep me from …”. But aren’t these limitations just set by ourselves? Isn’t it just the easier way to go to blame it all on circumstances, bad luck and other people?
I started forcing myself to think different and since then my feeling has become a different one too. At this stage I’d like to quote a friend of mine who described the feeling like that:
“Now I feel like being in a huge candy shop and I just don’t know where I shouldWho has never dreamed of being locked up in a candy shop when we were younger? So let’s get there! As Barack Obama already said:
start, because all options are looking so amazing!”
"Yes, we can!"
Mentors
It was a coach for rhetorical skills, who told me once: “There will be people in your life, appearing very unexpectedly, who will give you the feeling that they can help you.” What he wanted to say was to not let these people go.
He was right. I already experienced this a few times. My rhetoric trainer himself was one of these mentioned persons. Some of his opinions and stories just broadened my horizon.
It’s not that these persons are there to tell you what to do, but to inspire you. Ever since the trainer told me about this kind of “mentors”, I started noticing them consciously. It doesn’t matter if these persons are professors, friends, trainers, teachers, sports coaches or just strangers that you meet one evening in a bar. Just start to notice them, search for the inspiration that they can give you and do not let them go without having received the answers to your questions.
Being aware of this, you will not only be able to search for more inspiration, but you will also feel that to someone you are not the mentee, but the mentor. Being the mentor can be very inspiring as well, because you have to become conscious of your opinions and your thoughts. This is when you recognize that you know more than you think you do.
So open your eyes and recognize all the mentors and mentees who will come across your way.
He was right. I already experienced this a few times. My rhetoric trainer himself was one of these mentioned persons. Some of his opinions and stories just broadened my horizon.
It’s not that these persons are there to tell you what to do, but to inspire you. Ever since the trainer told me about this kind of “mentors”, I started noticing them consciously. It doesn’t matter if these persons are professors, friends, trainers, teachers, sports coaches or just strangers that you meet one evening in a bar. Just start to notice them, search for the inspiration that they can give you and do not let them go without having received the answers to your questions.
Being aware of this, you will not only be able to search for more inspiration, but you will also feel that to someone you are not the mentee, but the mentor. Being the mentor can be very inspiring as well, because you have to become conscious of your opinions and your thoughts. This is when you recognize that you know more than you think you do.
So open your eyes and recognize all the mentors and mentees who will come across your way.
Sakura
Sakura – do you know, what’s the meaning of this word?
It’s the Japanese translation of cherry blossom and it’s as well a time of celebrations in spring. It’s when cherry trees are blooming all over Japan and a whole nation is singing, celebrating and enjoying life.
The cherry blossom is a symbol for beauty, dawn and impermanence. What seems pretty wise about the Sakura celebrations to me, is the attitude that’s connected with it: First waiting and looking forward to it, enjoying the Sakura when it’s present and finally letting it go and keeping all the good memories when it’s over again.
I feel like many people are living their lives differently and do not understand this attitude.
Let me give you an example: this year, we experienced a really rainy and cold start of the summer in Germany. We had weeks full of clouds and cold rain. Last weekend the bad weather period finally came to an end. The sun was shining and it was perfectly warm again. Nevertheless I still heard so many people discussing when it was going to rain again and how bad the summer would become this year.
Isn't it just as if one squanders times of prosperity on thoughts of their fading?
It’s the Japanese translation of cherry blossom and it’s as well a time of celebrations in spring. It’s when cherry trees are blooming all over Japan and a whole nation is singing, celebrating and enjoying life.
The cherry blossom is a symbol for beauty, dawn and impermanence. What seems pretty wise about the Sakura celebrations to me, is the attitude that’s connected with it: First waiting and looking forward to it, enjoying the Sakura when it’s present and finally letting it go and keeping all the good memories when it’s over again.I feel like many people are living their lives differently and do not understand this attitude.
Let me give you an example: this year, we experienced a really rainy and cold start of the summer in Germany. We had weeks full of clouds and cold rain. Last weekend the bad weather period finally came to an end. The sun was shining and it was perfectly warm again. Nevertheless I still heard so many people discussing when it was going to rain again and how bad the summer would become this year.
Isn't it just as if one squanders times of prosperity on thoughts of their fading?
Did it already happen to you?
On the next sunny summer day, let us be the ones lying in the grass, feeling the sun on our skin, enjoying the Sakura of the moment and reminding us of the Japanese cherry blossom mantra.
Instinctive decisions
The biggest instinctive decision I've ever made was risking to leave my job in order to start my studies. Last summer I took this huge step which was going to change nearly my whole life.
My job in a big enterprise was a good one. Nice colleagues and bosses, interesting possibilities for developing myself. Good salary, convenient conditions, business trips to great places - just everything many people in the world are dreaming of.
And still I felt that I wouldn't be happy in that job for decades. I felt that there was more...
I made my decision to apply for a place at university within 3 days. And I applied for only one single bachelor program at only one university. Major: Sciences of communication, Minor: Psychology.
I wasn't even thinking about what to do if I would be rejected. Somehow I knew that I would start my studies that year. And I did. I received the letter of acceptance and informed my boss about my plans right on the next day.
And I received much more support than I could have ever expected before. I was offered to keep my job as a part-time job, for which I'm still grateful. I was able to start my studies and I only had to compromise a bit. I sold my car and I started sharing a flat. I was asked by many people how I could do that - giving up my standard of living and bothering myself with the studies and my part time job.
My job in a big enterprise was a good one. Nice colleagues and bosses, interesting possibilities for developing myself. Good salary, convenient conditions, business trips to great places - just everything many people in the world are dreaming of.
And still I felt that I wouldn't be happy in that job for decades. I felt that there was more...
I made my decision to apply for a place at university within 3 days. And I applied for only one single bachelor program at only one university. Major: Sciences of communication, Minor: Psychology.
I wasn't even thinking about what to do if I would be rejected. Somehow I knew that I would start my studies that year. And I did. I received the letter of acceptance and informed my boss about my plans right on the next day.
And I received much more support than I could have ever expected before. I was offered to keep my job as a part-time job, for which I'm still grateful. I was able to start my studies and I only had to compromise a bit. I sold my car and I started sharing a flat. I was asked by many people how I could do that - giving up my standard of living and bothering myself with the studies and my part time job.
How do you rank an own car and a nice flat compared to self-fulfillment and realization of your dreams?
I've ever been happy about my decision since I started last October. I've not even felt remorseful for a single day.
The dots connected...
Inspiring commencement speech of Steve Jobs
That good chats are absolutely able to broaden one's horizon, is a fact I experienced already a few times before. One of these chats was a few weeks ago with a friend of mine. We talked about this and that, horizons and inspirations and he recommended me the commencement speech held by Steve Jobs in Stanford 2005.
When I came home, I watched the video on youtube. Once... and again... and again...
A few minutes later I pinned two quotes on my closet, where I collect everything that gives me some inspiration.
... and if you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle!
This quote really stuck to my mind, as I understood last year that this was exactly what I had to do. It might be exhausting and for sure it's not the easiest way to go. However it's most probably the way that leads to the bigger fortune - at least for me it is.
Have you already made instinctive decisions, that didn't make any sense to anyone else? Decisions that you didn't doubt though, because you just had the feeling that this is what to do? Steve Jobs hit the nail on the head with the second quote.
Believing that the dots will connect down the road, will give you the confidence to follow your heart.
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